How can we avoid falling in love with a jerk? Could it be that we set our self up for failure in a relationship? John Van Epp, author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, provides a model we can use. He states that there are 5 factors involved in developing a healthy relationship. They are know, trust, rely on, commitment to, and touch (sexual involvement). He believes that we need to build upon each step. If you look at the picture below, you will see that it looks like a panel used in a music room. The idea is that we can move each of the factors up representing the fluidity that is in a relationship. The key is that you cannot move to the next step until the previous stop is high. You must now the person before you can trust them. You must trust before you can rely. Jumping straight to sexual involvement means you have touch but you have no basis of knowing or trusting the other person. The article below explains in greater depth the theory behind RAM.
http://universe.byu.edu/2013/04/16/relationship-model-teaches-trust-before-touch/
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